From adversity to achievement, Julia Brown has a journey to share
Tarrant County College was not my first choice back in high school. Graduating fifth in my class with a 4.0, I had my sights set on UT Austin and being accepted into the Polymathic Scholars program. I was drawn by UT’s reputation, the great research opportunities and scholarships, and the quirkiness of Austin.
I have always been a go-getter, and even when the going got tough in high school, what kept me motivated was my dream of a high-end university and living the romanticized “college life.”
Then I suffered a sports injury that required hip reconstruction. I had two surgeries, one where doctors had to dislocate my hip to remove dead cartilage from the femoral head and replace it with donated cadaver cartilage. I was instructed not to walk for at least three months to let the allograft properly attach.
A few complications arose, including a blood clot that significantly prolonged recovery. My surgeries and recovery aligned with the pandemic, my high school senior year and freshman year of college.
I remember waking up in the hospital after the first surgery in March 2020 and my mother telling me we had an extra week of spring break as a “precaution.” One week turned into two, which turned into a month, which turned into my high school experience ending virtually. All of the senior year milestone events were canceled, my college orientation was online, and I had to relearn how to walk in isolation.
Having three life-changing events happen simultaneously affected me in ways I did not foresee. Balancing my recovery while acclimating to the changes brought by COVID (isolated living, online school, medical complications) became unbearable. Even though I was physically recovering, I had neglected my mental health and fell into the worst mental state I had ever experienced. I had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders in high school, and my circumstances now made these conditions worse.
My first semester in Austin was spent mostly in my dorm, due to social distancing and my own agoraphobia. The research I was so excited to start was completely virtual, and I quickly realized online learning was my kryptonite.
Going from being an athlete and graduating top of my class to relearning how to walk and failing college classes because I was too depressed and scared to leave my bed killed my self-esteem. I tried college for a few semesters before I was academically suspended. This dealt a blow to my pride and identity, and it brought me to losing my will to live and suffering from suicidal thoughts.
Fortunately, my family, especially my grandmother (who also had anxiety and depression), encouraged me to come home and focus on my health. Finding full-time work and working through my traumas in talk therapy gradually brought me back to myself. It may have taken a few years, but I’m proud to say that I can manage my conditions without needing medication anymore. Unfortunately, new hip complications prevent me from being on my feet for extended periods, but I refuse to let that define me.
Given my trauma over dropping out of school, I was extremely hesitant to come back to college, even though I had made great leaps in my health. Being in the workforce was a necessary step, but those years doing entry-level jobs left me unfulfilled. A part of me wondered, what if?
The line my anxiety drew seemed too treacherous to pass at first, but every year away from school had me inching closer to the precipice. What pushed me past the threshold was that my grandmother, the one who supported me coming home and urged me to seek help, fell ill and passed away in 2024.
My final promise to her was that I would return to college and graduate. I strive to be a person who keeps her word, so here I am.
Transition to TCC/Growth and Support/Academic and Career Direction
Coming back into academia was nerve-racking, but choosing TCC instead of UT Austin eliminated so much pressure. TCC is one of the best decisions I ever made. Here’s what I’ve learned in my struggles: Family and friends are most important to me, so having them close is paramount and one of the many perks of staying local. TCC costs were another major factor, plus the ease of admission and meeting people who could assist me alleviated some of my anxieties. Just filling out the application brought me to tears, but I knew I would regret not trying more than I was afraid to fail.
One small step. I could do one small step. To avoid overwhelming myself, I started with just a single class: dance appreciation. Ironically, the sports injury that caused my hip issues came from dance. However, instead of failing miserably like my worst mind had prepared me to do, I felt something deep inside come alive again. One step turned into two.
The rust I was convinced would hold me back was fading with every assignment I passed, every project praised by my classmates and professors, and the final transcript having an A. The next semester I did three classes but kept to basic core subjects. Two steps turned to three.
One person who has become an essential part of my success at TCC is my career advisor, Deborah VanAlstyne. I remember our first appointment — a phone call where I was so on edge from nerves I started crying. I felt lost and scared, but I was honest with her, and she met me with so much empathy and kindness that I was crying for good reasons. She provided steady and reliable direction at a time when I needed it most.
While I initially wanted to pursue biochemistry because I liked science, now I was convinced I would not succeed. Deborah encouraged me to start with core courses to dip my toes in academia again, so we made plans for an Associate of Arts degree. One of these core classes was contemporary math, and after finishing with an A, I realized how much I missed math and science. Again, Deborah was there to provide guidance on taking the ALEKS math placement exam, and we mapped out a path for an associate’s degree in chemistry. Three steps turned to four.
Although I had failed calculus and chemistry in Austin, this time it felt different. I had grown, slowly but significantly. I had my family and friends with me. I could focus more on my studies since I was enrolled only part time, and I had the campus resources. I connected with the Math Center and became a regular there. My professors and I became very familiar with each other in class/office hours, and I made new friends I would study with. Four steps turned to five.
Taking STEM courses was academically challenging, but preparation helped me manage the stressors, and I started to fall in love with the knowledge. Having in-person lab time was game changing. I actually was allowed to do my own titration, not watch a YouTube video of it. I would meet with my friends at the various tables on campus and have cram/cry sessions during exam season in person, not virtually.
Being back in school has rekindled my curiosity and wonder of the world, and I am beyond excited to experience everything college life has to offer. Finding an on-campus job through Career Services has deepened my connection to TCC. I work in the Office of Academic Affairs and operate the front desk of the President’s Office at TCC Southeast. I’m privileged to greet our admins every morning and have made valuable connections. My professional skills have improved greatly!
I have lost count of all the steps I have taken, but I will never forget them because they have brought me to a life I love. I now find joy in learning, and I have regained the confidence I had lost. I am invigorated to take on a biochemistry major again, as I desire to be on the front lines of research to help others like me.
Looking Ahead/Reflection and Inspiration
This is technically an accidental degree. The Associate of Arts launched my TCC time, and it so happened I would get it as well as my associate’s degree in chemistry. Once I complete the latter next spring I likely will transfer to UTA to pursue a bachelor’s in biochemistry. I am exploring my options, and UTA has incredible research opportunities.
I am most excited to continue my education, and I hope one day to earn a doctorate. I have learned that even the smallest goals can compound exponentially and that there are people out there who want to see me succeed. Giving myself the space, time and grace to grow at my own pace is key.
For anyone who feels lost and scared, all you need to do is find your one step. And take it. Then find another. Take it.
Even if it feels you cannot walk, that you cannot move, you are not alone. Find folks who will take those steps with you.
I promise, they’re out there.